Welcome in, friend. Gather close and make yourself comfortable.
It’s my birthday tomorrow. Thirty-five.
I like the feel of it.
My ritual is to watch the sunset the night before my birthday. Tonight was no different.
As I was watching the sun sink toward the horizon, I caught myself reflecting on just how different I felt from three years ago when I was sitting on the same beach.
Same beanie.
Same jacket.
Different person.
The girl in the bottom picture has a well-earned resilient attitude. She practices having an intentional relationship with the stress and circumstances of her life. I’m proud of her for cultivating that relationship. I’m proud of who she has (I have) become.
The healthiest thing I’ve done for myself in the first half of my 30s has been consistently attending therapy every week. The work is paying off. The conversations. The deep dives. The willingness to look in the mirror. I’m taking accountability in a way that lights me up. I’ve worked, am working, and will continue to work on myself for the rest of my life. I’ve proved to myself that I am committed to taking care of my brain and my body, and I feel very proud of that. The difference in me is noticeable and that earned evolution motivates me further.
My sense of self isn’t as flimsy or dependent on other people anymore. I know who I am. I know my intentions. I know what I stand for and I am proud of that. There is no one in this world who can tell me who I am more than myself. I know me. I know my experiences. I’m proud to sense this knowing in my bones. It’s no longer aspirational, it’s Truth.
When I look at those two pictures of me, I think of the Ship of Theseus. I look similar, but I’m built different. I’ve replaced the old decayed planks of previous mindsets and put new and stronger beliefs in their place. I have morphed into a stronger, wiser, and more self-assured beast. Transforming has been hard work, but it has been worth every financial and emotional sacrifice.
I am now relentless in the pursuit of myself—I’ve emerged from the ashes of the first half of my 30s on fire and better than ever—and that is a fierce place to be. My mindset has been my greatest project and achievement this past year, and I feel honored to be able to experience the remainder of my life with this brain that I’ve worked hard to evolve and cultivate on purpose. It’s been a blessing—all of it—and I’m walking into thirty-five in awe of the ride.
⏸ Pause
How have you evolved in the past few years?
Thanks for being here and sharing this moment of your life with me. Until we meet again, keep evolving and trusting your knowing.
With love today and every day,
L/Booch
P.S. The anthem,
And I love your anthem! That’s one of of my favorites.
I’ve landed here through committing to read where my eyes and finger lands in a search once a week. Happiest of birthdays. Thank you for sharing your evolution. After my birthday of 32 I’ve decided to do a ritual, still deciding on what that will be. 32 has definitely been sweet.