Welcome to The Pause, dear friend. Come on in and make yourself comfortable.
So grateful to be meeting you here, and to have experienced a mostly delightful August (save the last few days, our house has been riding the waves of covid but we’re getting through it ❤️🩹).
This past Sunday I was on a flight back to the Bay and had my head wrapped up in the literal and figurative clouds about self-care, and I think today’s issue is a perfect opportunity to take a moment to pause and talk about caring for our Selves.
Settle in, take a deep breath, and get ready to pause in 3…2…1…
Self-care is a buzzword, I know. It’s one of those over-exhausted phrases we sometimes use to indulge our questionable spending, screen, and sugar habits. We’re like mini-Donna Meagles and Tom Haverfords, except we’re in the habit of “treating” ourselves far more than once a year.
“Self-care” today sometimes feels like the instant gratification version of caring for our Self. Instead of focusing on what our Self actually needs—you know, less input, more sleep, less time in front of a screen, more quality connections, less to-dos, more time moving and enjoying outside, etc.—we scrap together whatever leftover time we have from the day and fill it with a quick thirty-minute episode of the newest show we’re binging and convince ourselves we’ve checked our self-care box for the day.
It’s not necessarily our fault that we’ve subconsciously slipped into slacking on self-care. Life is more distracting than arguably ever before (been reading this book with all the stats on this… highly recommend). We’ve got more people than ever asking for our time. More apps than ever asking for our time. More shows than ever asking for our time. Etc. Etc. Etc. It’s easy to settle for scraps when it comes to caring for our Selves because there is just too goddamn much to do. At least we did something for self-care by binge-watching Too Hot to Handle and overspending on the RealReal, right? Right?? RIGHT?!
My time in the sky got me thinking.. what if instead of thinking about caring for myself as something I needed to do every day—something that was kind of a pain in my ass and was cutting into all the time I needed to get other shit done—I got back into seeing it as a practice? A ritual? Something I do, multiple times a day, simply because I enjoy the act of caring for my Self. You know, the Self that is grounded and wise. The Self that doesn’t stutter, question my gut, or seek counsel from other people on what makes me feel satisfied. The Self that is secure in who I am. Not my ego. Not my outward self. My inward self. Me.
When I think about caring for this Self—my Self—everything shifts and self-care takes on a new meaning.
All of a sudden, being on time is self-care. Not frying my brain with TV right before I go to bed is self-care. Flossing my teeth at least twice a day is self-care. Making the time to put on all my face and body lotions on after a shower is self-care. Going on long walks with Rufus simply because is self-care. Choosing to read an actual, physical book, vs. a Kindle is self-care.
When I think about how I can care for my Self instead of what I can squeeze in to check the self-care box, every single thing I do for the love, security, and enjoyment of myself becomes self-care. Caring for my Self is no longer something to do. It’s something to practice. To delight in. To relish. To savor.
I want this kind of energy for my Self, and I hope when you think about your Self, you want that kind of energy for them, too.
Today, take a moment to think about your Self. What does your Self delight in? Desire? Adore? What makes your Self feel long-term good vs. instant gratification good? And, how can you care for this Self moving forward?
⏸ pause
Tap into your Self. The one who is grounded. Who knows you. Who feels like the most true version of you.
How do you currently care for that Self?
What does that Self delight in? Desire? Adore?
What makes that Self feel long-term good vs. instant gratification good?
How can you care for that Self moving forward?
I love y’all. Thanks for being here. Take care of your Selves, and I’ll catch you back in a few weeks. 🤍
My love,
~ L