**This post was originally sent via ConvertKit on June 27th, 2021**
Hiya Pause peeps. For this issue of The Pause, I'm going to share a journal entry with you that I came across this morning.
When I wrote this entry, I was in thick of matrescence and was having what felt like an emotional, winner-takes-all battle between my pre-mom self and my new, actual-mom self. I knew that how I was choosing to see my life wasn't serving me anymore, but I felt unsure and overwhelmed with how to move forward. I was in that moment I'm sure some of you can relate to -- that moment before we decide to make a change...that moment when we can see what's causing our pain, but for whatever reason, we still choose to invest in the pain we know versus the unknown discomfort that's required to change.
This journal entry ended up being the tough-love, hard-look-in-the-mirror catalyst I needed to slowly begin choosing healthier belief systems around who I was and what I was capable of in my new role of mother. It all started with the question: Are you willing to be wrong?
I encourage you to adapt this journal entry for you. Maybe there are stories in your life you're tired of subscribing to, like: I'm not a morning person, I'm bad with money, I'll never find love, I hate hanging up my clothes, No one is showing up for me. Whatever your current stories might be, before you can choose to adapt them in a way that better serves you, you have to first ask yourself if you're willing to be wrong about them. Are you willing to consider you could be a morning person? Good with money? Destined for a beautiful love? And so on, and so forth...
Take a deep breath, settle in, and get ready to pause in 3...2...1...
❔Are You Willing to Be Wrong?
Are you willing to be wrong about it all? What your past has made you capable of. Who hurt you. What scarred you. What defined you.
Are you willing to be humbled? To kneel at the feet of the wiser version of yourself, begging to be taught.
To shift from set to shifting.
Evolved to evolving.
Arrived to becoming.
There is no right answer. No universal truth to turn to or hide behind. But as this transition occurs, how committed to learning are you? Are you willing to be wrong? To let go of the past and what you know -- the familiar thought patterns and ways of being. Are you willing to allow your identity as you know it to be blown up from the inside out, shattered, to make way for what is new?
All of the fear I feel. All of the trepidation and resistance to let go of this life stems from a perceived idea of control. I know this life. I love this life. I am this life.
But what if that's all wrong?
What if transitioning into motherhood doesn't have to mean losing myself?
I think a lot of times I can fall into the habit of viewing letting go as getting lost. Losing myself. Losing my way. Losing my purpose. But what if I was wrong about myself, my way and my purpose all along? What if it's true that not all who wander are lost? What if what I find along the way leads me to a grander, more expansive life? Can I really call that getting lost?
So I ask you, self: Are you willing to question everything you've been taught about yourself and the world around you? What people think of you. How you're able to evolve. What you're able to become. What kind of mother you can be. What happens if you let it all go?
It's not a question of if you can do hard things. We are all capable of letting go, losing our perceived control and stumbling into a life more grand and fulfilling than we ever could have imagined for ourselves. The question is are you willing to? Are you willing to release the way you think life should be in exchange for what is? Are you willing to let go of the future you believe you're destined for to wholly and fully attend to the person you are now? Are you willing to put in the work, make uncomfortable choices, and carve a completely new way of being?
Are you willing to be wrong?
Yes or no. It's completely up to you.
⏸ Pause & Reconnect
Keep it judgment-free and have fun. There are no right or wrong answers, just what's true for you.
1. Are there stories you've been telling yourself (about yourself, your relationships, your abilities, etc.) that you’d benefit from being wrong about? If yes, what are they?
2. What could you gain if you allowed your story to evolve? What could you lose?
3. Give yourself a moment to dive deeper on one story you’d like to be wrong about. For example, if your story is, I can't balance my social, home, and work life, consider: What if this is wrong? What if I *can* balance my social, home and work life? What could that look like?. If your story is, I'm terrible with money, ask yourself: What if this is wrong? What if I *can* be good with money? What could that look like? If you get caught up, let me know -- figuring this stuff out is my jam.
That's it for this month, my friends. Enjoy the beginning days of summer, and I'll see you back here in July.
My love to you and yours,
Lindsey
P.S. If you know someone who would appreciate today's message, please feel free to share with them.
P.P.S. Additionally, if you know anyone going through a tough transition (or just any transition, really) into motherhood, this podcast series on matrescence changed my life and made me feel so seen.