Welcome to this issue of The Pause. Come on in and make yourself comfortable.
This is the first time I’m sending The Pause via Substack, so I want to start off by saying thank you for being supportive and patient as I got us set up over here. I’m excited about what this new platform can do, and I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I am. As a reminder, here are some cool new features:
🏛 An Archive. If there was a message you loved and would like to hear again, you can now find any previous issue of The Pause in a central place.
💬 The ability to engage with fellow Pausers. At the bottom of each issue, you’ll see the option to “Like & Comment.” Clicking this will take you to the web version of The Pause where you can comment and like away.
🖤 A way to share The Pause with your people. At the top of this email (next to my name) is an arrow.. if you click it, you’ll see there are now multiple ways you can share The Pause. Additionally, you can gift someone you love a subscription, or send them to the About page to learn more.
Pretty cool, right?
Now that we’ve got that covered.. let’s get into the good stuff. For today's issue, let’s take a moment to focus on what life has gifted us the past decade.
Settle in, take a deep breath, and get ready to pause in 3...2...1...
💚 A Decade Ago
Earlier this month, I walked up to the New York Stock Exchange and got choked up when I locked eyes with what stood in front. There, standing what felt like a gazillion feet tall, was a massive sign that read: Nextdoor.
Almost ten years ago to the day, I walked into the Nextdoor office to start my first day on the job. At the time, I was twenty-two, fresh out of college, and eager to make my mark on the world. I had zero foresight into the effect working there would eventually have on me.. for all I knew, Nextdoor was a way to gain some experience and get my foot in the door. A pit stop on my way to global domination.
LOL, right?
Hindsight is a funny thing that way. Here I am, ten years later, writing to you from the desk of my home in San Francisco that I share with my husband — a man who I likely would have never found had he not also made a career stop at Nextdoor — and it seems clear to me that the purpose of me joining Nextdoor never really had anything to do with global domination at all, but rather everything to do with finding the love of my life.
This is the beauty of being alive, isn’t it? We think we can plan and predict what’s going to happen, and while we’re busy planning and predicting, life sneaks right up to us and gives us the gift of a life we could have never imagined. A life that is sweeter, messier, and more full than we had the capacity to consider. A life that we were meant for the whole time.
Choosing to work at Nextdoor changed my life in a way I could have never imagined. It gave me my husband. Many of my dearest friends. Financial security. And, even if inadvertently, it gave me my daughter, who has impacted the meaning of my existence forever.
If you’re reading this, semi-stressed you don’t have your life figured out, remember that a decade ago you couldn’t have imagined you’d be where you are today. You couldn’t have imagined the love, the heartbreak, or the joy. You couldn’t have imagined the experiences, the fails, and the triumphs. You couldn’t have imagined you in all of your glory. And yet, here you are. Alive and well. Living the life you were meant to be living all along.
⏸ Pause & Reconnect
**Take a moment to reflect. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers; just what’s true for you.**
Do you remember having a vision for what your life would look like in 10 years, a decade ago? What did it look like?
What’s been your favorite surprise of the past decade?
What’s been your least favorite surprise of the past decade?
If you could go back and give your decade-ago self some advice, what would it be?
I hope today you find peace in knowing that whatever life is meant for you will come. Thank you again for being here and for taking a moment to check in on yourself.
Sending you love until we meet again. 🖤
- L
1) Do you remember having a vision for what your life would look like in 10 years, a decade ago? What did it look like?
- A decade ago, I remember thinking that my life today would look like me, married, with some kids, but no real sense of why I wanted those things. Ten years ago, I was still living in "check the boxes of life" mode -- not super in tune with what I actually wanted...more living from a place of doing what I think I should be doing. For instance, I saw myself being "successful" by the traditional, corporate definition of success without ever asking myself if that's what success actually meant to me.
2) What’s been your favorite surprise of the past decade?
- Having a baby with my husband. How having her elevated my mentality, marriage, and relationship with myself.
3) What’s been your least favorite surprise of the past decade?
- The isolation from my people during covid.
4) If you could go back and give your decade-ago self some advice, what would it be?
- You're going to feel like your atoms are moving a million miles a minute and that your life is complete and utter chaos multiple times through the next decade. It's alright. With time, you'll come to understand why everything unfolded the way it did.
- Believe in yourself and what you want. Thinking you have to sacrifice your own happiness for what you think is the collective good of your people is a scam. Don't subscribe.
- It's going to hurt to become the person you want to be. That's ok. Keep leaning into the pain and showing up for yourself. It won't necessarily be easy, but it will start to get easier.
- Hug your people hard. Tell them how much you love them. Say yes to the dinner dates and times out because, for a good chunk of the next decade, you're gonna be sitting at home wondering what the hell is going on.
2) What’s been your favorite surprise of the past decade?
The depth at which my husband and I can love our son (and each other!) My favorite line of this Pause, without a doubt: "my daughter, who has impacted the meaning of my existence forever." Amen.
4) If you could go back and give your decade-ago self some advice, what would it be?
-Try as you can and want to plan everything, it's not possible. You have no idea what's to come- good and bad- so, continue to plan, but don't spend too much time and energy on it. Take it one day at a time, as possible. (Okay, now I will reread that to myself as advice for myself now).
-Continue to make the effort to show up for people-spend the money- book the flight- just go- be there- it's what matters the most in the end.